If Sexual Assault does not Justify a Weekend Phone Call – What Does?

The recently disclosed Grand Jury testimony of former Penn St. Coach Joe Paterno (SEE Yahoo Sports – Paterno Grand Jury Testimony) reveals that the coaching icon waited at least a day to disclose the alleged 2002 sexual assault on a nine-year old boy, by former Penn St. Defensive Coordinator Jerry Sandusky in the Penn St. locker room shower, to his athletic director and another administrator because he “didn’t want to interfere with their weekends.”

So, if sexual assault on University property by a former coach with emeritus status and unfettered access to the University does not justify interrupting an athletic director’s weekend, below find ten reasons which undoubtedly provide adequate support for any interruption:   

1)    Science professor threatening to flunk star running back;

2)    Expense check reimbursement late;

3)    Locker room has  a “musty” smell;

4)    Someone on the faculty sent out a memo criticizing the new jersey worn at last week’s game as “cartoonish;”

5)    ESPN is sending sideline reporter Heather Cox instead of Erin Andrews to cover next weekend’s game;

6)    Alumni took you to Saltgrass instead of Flemings after the game;

7)    Players want a tattoo parlor “on” campus

8)    “I need to take my wife with me on the recruiting trip to Tuscany;”

9)    Have to inform him that you plan to have a panic attack in advance of retiring;

10)  Calling to ask if your contract “has a problem with DUI’s.”

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