Sam Houston & Rick Perry Discuss Religion

Rick Perry:           President Houston, good to see again.

Sam Houston:     Wish I could say the same.

Rick Perry:           What’s the matter Mr. President?

Sam Houston:     Well son, where do I begin? When this nation needs leadership, real leadership I’m   talkin’ about, you spend your time startin’ up some dang’um prayer rally with group of troublemakers who believe there’s only one religion in this country. Then, you go around this country pretendin’ Tejas don’t have its own gosh darn problems. Almost last in education, health care and I cain’t remember all else the list is too long. And you think a prayer rally is gonna solve these ills? What the hail is in the stuff you dye your hair with?

Rick Perry:           I have to respectfully disagree Mr. President. We need Christian values in our government, we need religion, especially now.

Sam Houston:    Huh, everyone gets religion in a foxhole. That don’t make a person religious. And I kinda recall those penguin people leaving ole England to get religious freedom. Now you want to take it all away? What would the penguins think of you?

Rick Perry:          Penguins? You mean pilgrims right?

Sam Houston:    So you do know some history son. Bout’ time.

Rick Perry:           I don’t have anything against other religions. Just think we’re a Christian nation, and   need Christian values.

Sam Houston:    And just how do the Jews, Muslims, Buddhist, Hindu and others fit in?

Rick Perry:           They can all practice freely, as long as they don’t conflict with Christian values.

Sam Houston:    Son, are you hearing your own voice?

Rick Perry:           No, I’m listening to God’s voice.

Sam Houston:    And what’s he’s sayin’?

Rick Perry;           That I have a calling, to save this nation from itself.

Sam Houston:    You know; I too had a calling.

Rick Perry:           What was that Mr. President?

Sam Houston:    To create a nation that attracted industrious people of all cultures and religions who would work hard to make us the best nation on earth. And I gotta be honest with ya. I think you’re screwing it all up.

Rick Perry:           Beg pardon?

Sam Houston:    Prayin’ to God was not what made our country great. It was doin’ God’s work. I get the feelin’ you think it’s only about the prayin’ and sayin’ the “right” things. That will just get you into trouble.

Rick Perry:           But we already are in trouble.

Sam Houston:    Let me ask you something? Remember President Lincoln?

Rick Perry:           Not personally, but sure.

Sam Houston:    Remember what he said, “A house divided against itself cannot stand.”

Rick Perry:           What’s that got to do with me?

Sam Houston:    Are you listen son? You’re creating a divided house and that dang dog won’t hunt. You get me?

Rick Perry:           Mr. President, things have changed a lot since your time. Let’s leave it at that.

Sam Houston:    I ain’t stupid son, I know things are different. But people still want to most basic of things: a job, a safe place to raise their kids, and freedom to pray how and when they want.

Rick Perry:           Hmm.

Sam Houston:    And another thing before I go. Why’s it so dang hot? Seems like the whole state is dryin’ up. What you got planned to help out?

Rick Perry:           Well Mr. President, to be honest, I have been out of the State most of the summer, but I’ll look into it.

Sam Houston:    You do that son, you do that.

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