Rick Perry and Sam Houston discuss Texas’ Secession

Rick Perry

President Houston, what brings you back to Texas?

Sam Houston  

I hear you wantin’ to secede from the Union.  I worked my ass off getting Tejas independent from Santa Anna and a bonafide member of these United States and now  you go off half-cocked sayin’ Adios, thanks for the memories cause you have an election against a perty  lady with  more  dinero than you?  Hail, if you were at the Alamo  Col. Travis wouldn’a let you cross that line in the sand presuming Bowie hadn’t gotten’ to ya first.  Frankly, i cain’t believe you’ve bin the longest serving governor of this great State.                                                                                                    

Rick Perry

 I thought you would agree with me, us Texans have to stick together against  the tyranny of the Federal government.

Sam Houston

Tyranny!  Tyranny!  You ain’t the first clue about tyranny.

Rick Perry

But Mr. President, the new President, Obama, he plans to take away our guns, our money, our freedom, our way of life…

Sam Houston

Son, even if he wanted too, and I’m perty sure he don’t, no man, or woman, has the ability to do all that.  Heck, he ain’t even bin in office hundred days.  How long you bin Governor?

Rick Perry

Nine years, sir.

Sam Houston

Seems to me then most the problems you complain’ about go back under your watch?

Rick Perry

I’m just a little ole governor, Mr. President!

Sam Houston

And that fellow you replaced, what happened to him?

Rick Perry

 Oh him, Mr. President, he went on to fight against big government, wasteful spending,  and lax financial regulations. You’d admire him, no doubt.                                              

Sam Houston

I’m sure I would, I’m sure I would…

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