Pokémon Busts Armed Robbers Out of Jail

machampThe power of Pokémon was no match for the O’Fallon, Missouri jail on Monday as Machamp, a purplish multi-armed Pokémon who can launch 125 punches per second per arm, broke out 4 male prisoners.

“I never even saw him,” said prison guard Ned Taylor. “I was playing Candy Crush on my iPad when all the sudden something hits my head like a dozen times.”

Machamp stole the unconscious Taylor’s keys before busting out four armed robbers arrested on Sunday for using the Pokémon Go mobile game to lure players into isolated areas before robbing them at gunpoint. The adult suspects, charged with first degree robbery, were being held on $100,000 cash bond.

pikachuO’Fallon police are now looking into the possibility that Machamp played a role in the robberies as well. “The timing is pretty suspicious if you ask me,” said O’Fallon Police Chief Micheal “Mick” Dowdall. Most people think Pokémons are all cute and cuddly like that Pikachu. But there’s some really nasty ones too.”

Dowdall added that Officer Taylor remains in stable condition in Sacred Heart Hospital but should return to duty by next week. He also cautioned all citizens to be on the lookout for Machamp, “But only contact the police. Do not approach as he is multi-armed and dangerous.”

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