NCAA to take over NASCAR – polls to replace points

This Sunday’s NASCAR Series final race at the Homestead-Miami Speedway will crown the 2010 Sprint Cup champion. Each race drivers receive points based on the order of finish (less any penalty points for things like gratuitously ramming an opponent’s rear end). At the end of the season, this Sunday, NASCAR officials add all the points and award the Sprint Cub to the driver with the highest point total.

Sound pretty reasonable? The driver with the most points based on a disclosed formula wins. But recent reports from anonymous Twitter accounts reveal that the owners of NASCAR agreed to sale the circuit to none other than the NCAA. And, beginning in 2011, the racing’s most successful venture will be called the “NCAACAR Championship Series” or “NCS” for short. According to sources, the NCAA cannot only extract more money from governmental sources, but its powerful and really effective investigative arm will bring swift justice to racing teams that violate the rules.

The biggest change will be how NCS selects its champion. Instead of the aforementioned formula, the results of various media and driver polls will be calculated by a computer to determine the winner. “Many factors contribute to who is the best driver,” noted a source close to the deal. “Paint jobs, uniforms, driver personality, the attractiveness of the driver’s wife … a lot of important factors are not considered in crowning the current champion,” he continued. “Why should it only be about the finish line?”

Detractors of the new system argue that most of the media voters will not see the races live or on TV and therefore, “don’t know what the hell they are talking about.” Concerns of petty rivalries affecting the driver’s poll concern many as well. “Look, if that MF jams me up on the inside corner, I am voting him last regardless of how many races he ‘f’n’ wins,” noted one of the current Sprint Series point leaders expressing the view shared by his fellow racers.  

When asked about the fairness of polls, NCAA officials referenced years of documented proof that polls work to bring about a champion.  Plus, this “(new) system makes each and every race more meaningful. You can’t take races off like before,” said future chair of the NSC competition committee Nelson Funderbunk. When asked for specific examples, Funderbunk noted that races in S. Dakota and New Mexico as events which will be more important than before. “Drivers will have to think not just about winning, but winning all the time,” he added before abruptly hanging up the phone.

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